Netflix and Chill

Netflix and chill. 

I'm sure if you're around teenagers/young adults or if you've been on social media over the past couple of months, this phrase isn't new to you.

Sounds relaxing right?

Not for me. I cringe every time I see or hear the words "Netflix and chill."

Let me clarify: I LOVE NETFLIX, and I really love kicking off my shoes and relaxing too.
But unfortunately, society has twisted this phrase into something that throws dating out of the window while instead encouraging couples to lay around in bed and indulge in the physical aspects of a relationship instead of truly spending quality time together.

When I look at my own relationship, I cannot imagine over a year of dating Mitchell where all we ever did was "Netflix and chill." Quite frankly, I don't see how one could even call "Netflix and chill" dating when the TV is the one doing all of the talking. And if I were to be completely honest, if my boyfriend was to try to cross physical boundaries with me while we were on that so-called date then he would have hit the curb before the movie was even over.

I don't mean this post to discourage watching a movie every now and then with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but I do hope it helps you to realize what dating is not because dating is so much more than lying around behind closed doors with your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Dating is a time where you are suppose to talk with and get to know your significant other.
Dating is a time where you are suppose to respect the heart, emotions, and body of the one you are with.
Dating is a time to go do things you might not have time or money for after marriage and especially after kids.
Dating is a time to make memories; memories that will last a lifetime.

Here's a glimpse of some of my favorite dates with Mitchell

Blueberry Picking

The Safari Park 

A visit to his work

Road trip to a baby canyon 

Ice Skating

Watched the sunset

Climbed a fire tower

Chased "waterfalls" 

I share all of this to say that actually dating is still in existence if you make the choice to GO, and it doesn't always have to be something formal or expensive!

Don't settle, and surely don't let "Netflix and chill" be the only stories you have to share with your grandchildren one day.

70 X 7

Everyday for the past couple of weeks, I have woken up hurt by the pain someone else has caused me.

In turn, everyday for the past couple of weeks, I have gotten extremely frustrated with what I have considered "my inability to forgive as Christ has forgiven me."

If you took a look at my grades, it'd be no secret that I'm pretty bad at math.

I've never really liked math, and it's always been something that I've struggled with, especially when it comes to this one particular math problem.

70 x 7 
It gets me every time.

If you don't know what I'm referring to, take a look at these two verses.

"Then Peter came to him and asked, 'Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?' 'No, not seven times,' Jesus replied, 'But seventy times seven.'" 

Matthew 18:21-22

As I first read this verse following my frustrations with forgiveness, I got really annoyed with God. "Seriously, Lord? You expect me to forgive _____  for their countless sins against me... How am I suppose to do that when I can't even forgive them for this one act?"

As I have tried, tried, and tried again to forgive this person, each day something would remind me of the pain that they caused me, which ultimately led to feelings of resentment and hurt all over again. "Great. I thought I forgave them already, Lord, but here I am experiencing this all over again. I'll never be able to truly forgive."

Not too long ago, as I struggled yet again with my "inability to forgive" I had a revelation. 

Maybe God isn't just telling me that when ____ sins seventy times seven times, I must forgive them for each account. Maybe God is also telling me that I need to forgive this one sin against me seventy times seven times. 

As I processed that thought, I began to realize that forgiveness is a choice that, more often than not, has to be made more than once. And for me, the choice to forgive has to be made daily, at least for now.

To close, I wanted to share with you a prayer that I often find myself having to pray when I have to make the choice to forgive yet again:

____________________________________________________

Father, 

I am coming to you right now as I recognize my need for you to help me forgive _____.  I know that in my weakness, I cannot forgive _____, so I am asking you to please display your strength through me. I am bringing you my feelings of bitterness, pain, and sadness, as I recognize that these feelings are hindering me from loving others and experiencing your joy. By faith in you, I am coming to you right now to ask for the strength and the grace to forgive _____ as you have forgiven me. Please heal my heart as I no longer want to be held captive by pain, bitterness, and unforgiveness any longer. Renew in my spirit a fresh understanding of your grace and your love so that I can mirror that in the lives of others. Help me to act on my faith rather than my feelings, as I continue through this journey of forgiveness. Lord, thank you for forgiving me, thank you for setting me free, and thank you for displaying your power through me as I am making the choice to forgive today. I love you, Lord. 

Amen. 

My Joy Jar

Today, I made this joy jar. 

"What is this joy jar about?" you may ask.

Well in this joy jar I have begun to write a few things on slips of paper that I am thankful for and that bring me joy. I wrote the names of my loved ones. I wrote a few of my favorite things like sunflowers, sunsets, and giraffes. I wrote about my prayer time, my bible readings, and my Savior. Each of these things I wrote, folded up, and put into this jar.

So why did I do this?

Well today, I texted my mom in tears. I was really really unhappy with my circumstances, and I felt the need to complain to someone... her response was a quick "take a prayer walk and reflect on all of the things that you're thankful for. Don't let Satan rob you of your joy."

Mommas know best, so I did just that.

After my prayer walk, God really laid it on my heart to make this joy jar.

According to Scripture, "the joy of the Lord is our strength" (Nehemiah 8:10) And if I'm going to have the strength to resist the devil as he comes to steal, kill, and destroy, then I'm going to need all of the joy (strength) I can get.

With that in mind, I have decided to add at least one thing I am thankful for to my joy jar every day. On the days I feel defeated and can't seem to find something to be thankful for, I will simply pull one or two (or as many as needed) pieces of paper out of my joy jar and simply reflect on those things.

If you can guard your hearts well enough to not allow Satan to steal your joy, you should have the strength to resist him under all circumstances.

"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." 

Romans 13:10

you don't just learn about your major in college

Ever since I graduated high school people have told me that my college years would be the best four years of my life. (insert major eye rolling here) I don't know about you, but I'm hoping for at least another sixty years and if these are the best four years of my life then I really don't have much to look forward to, do I?

I am halfway through this whole college thing; and let me just say, it hasn't been as wonderful as many people make it out to be. However, the past two years have been extremely eye opening as I have learned so much about myself and about life itself, and I'm sure the next two years will be full of plenty more eye opening experiences as well.

As a junior, I just wanted to share a few of the things that I've learned over the past two years for those of you who are about to start college or even return to college this week or in the next few weeks to come.

1. More often than not, movies and tv shows portray college to be one huge party. I'm not a drinker nor a very good dancer, so that whole party scene doesn't really appeal to me. Most of my Friday nights are spent watching Netflix or occasionally going out to eat with a friend.
During my Freshman year, I felt like I was doing college wrong because I wasn't going out to every party and awkwardly dancing with whoever would have to be intoxicated enough to dance with someone with as horrid dance moves as I have. But let me tell you, even though sometimes it's a little lonely, I would much rather be somewhere where I was comfortable than somewhere where I definitely wouldn't be. It's completely okay to stand firm to your beliefs and morals in college and for the rest of your life. 

2. Staying up all night isn't worth it. EVERY SINGLE TIME I have pulled an all nighter to finish a paper I put off for weeks or to study for a test that I had known about the whole semester, I have gotten extremely sick for the next week or two, putting me even more behind. I know it's so easy to procrastinate in college, and sometimes pulling an all nighter seems like your only option but You need sleep. Do your best to do what it takes to make sure you're getting a healthy amount of sleep each night, especially the days prior to test weeks.

3. Loneliness is normal. If anyone ever tells you that you'll never be lonely in college because it's the only time in your life that you will be surrounded by hundreds (or thousands) of other people your age, they're lying.
You are going to be lonely. I'm not telling you that it's easy, but it is completely normal. So don't beat yourself up over it or think that something is wrong with you because everyone deals with it, whether or not they want to admit it.
I'll be completely real with you guys...The past two years have been the loneliest years of my life. I don't have a family to go home to after classes or to hang out with on the weekend, which is all I ever knew before college. Sure, I have a roommate (who God really blessed me with) and other wonderful friends who I can spend time with, but sometimes my roommate isn't there and sometimes my friends are busy with other things, so from time to time I'm left confined between four walls all by myself at night or on the weekends; and let me tell you, it's hard. But over the past two years God has taught me so much about loneliness that I know will continue to shape me for the rest of my life (which you can read more about here)

4. Discipleship is so important. During my freshman year I was plugged into a discipleship group with two other freshman that was led by a senior on my campus where I learned the importance of sharing Christ's love with others. Then, during my sophomore year I was blessed with the opportunity to lead my own discipleship group through the Baptist Student Union on campus. However, there are plenty of believers on college campuses who aren't plugged into a christian fellowship organization (though I highly recommend it) so sometimes these "step by step" opportunities do not arise for them. But as a believer, you don't need that! You have been called to make disciples by Jesus Christ (Matthew 28:19). 
What a better time to make disciples than during your college years? Just think about it for a second... if you gathered with a group of 3-5 other students and taught them about Christ and then equipped them with the tools and knowledge that they need to go and make disciples themselves, your little discipleship group of about four or so students is going to multiply. Hopefully each member of your discipleship group would go their separate way and form their own discipleship group of about four or so students, so right there we are looking at about sixteen other students who are hearing about Christ and learning about how to make even MORE disciples just from what originated in your dorm room or college library. ISN'T THAT INCREDIBLE? God can and will do wonderful things through you and on your campus if you let Him!


As I previously mentioned, I've learned far more than just these four things over the past two years, and I know that the next two years will also be full of many learning experiences. But for the sake of time and your poor little eyes, who I'm sure are tired of reading, I'm going to cut this post here though I may write further on the topic on a later day :)

If you want to share with me about the things you've learned or are learning since you've been in college or even if you have questions about what to expect as a freshman please contact me through the links provided here because I love hearing from you guys!

Have a blessed day!

discouragement

When God prompted my heart to write about discouragement some time ago, I was left confused because I thought I had done so a few months ago when I wrote about being disappointed (which you can read here). However, over the past few weeks, God has been teaching me the difference between discouragement and disappointment, and I felt a strong leading to share it with you guys.

Disappointments and discouragement seem to plague the lives of nearly everyone at some point in time, some more than others. Whether it is at work, at school, in your relationships, at home, in your finances, or even at church, I am sure you have felt the burden of both discouragement and disappointment more times than you wish to count. I know I have.

Sadly, I believe disappointments to be an inevitable (and frequent) part of life that all of us have faced and will continue to face until we get to Heaven. However, God has been teaching me lately that
though disappointments in life are unavoidable, being discouraged following those disappointments is a CHOICE. 

Not just any choice either... It's a choice that the enemy delights in because discouragement is a huge distraction from the will of God.

If you stare at a line in the sand long enough, it will eventually start to look like the Grand Canyon. The same goes for our discouragement, because within our discouragement is nothing more than a loss of perception.

The more we focus on our disappointments, the bigger and more problematic they become to the point where we no longer see anything else that God has in store for us.

When we are feeling discouraged, it means that we are subconsciously choosing to wallow in our own self-pity and negativism instead of just shaking off the disappointments and moving forward with life into whatever else God has planned.

If you don't get the job you wanted, a loved one lets you down, or something goes wrong financially, do not be discouraged, just take that disappointment and shake it off!  *insert Taylor Swift reference here*

The bottom line is this: we cannot avoid being disappointed, but we can do away with the feelings of discouragement by choosing to do away with our feelings of negativity and self-pity. And when we do so, we can overcome the obstacles in life and seek out the opportunities that God has awaiting us.

"This is my command–be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged! For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." 

Joshua 1:9

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you." 

Deuteronomy 31:8

Eyes of Grace & A Heart to Forgive

Have you ever been at a point in life where you are so trapped in your sin that you do not even want to go to your Father in prayer anymore because you are so ashamed? Or have you been to the point where you refuse to open your Bible because you aren't getting anything from it anymore because your heart has been so burdened with the pains of sins that have not yet been healed?

If you want me to be honest, I've been there.

It's such a confusing and disheartening situation because you know in your heart that God is merciful and ready to forgive, but you are so shameful of your sins and you begin to believe the lies of the enemy to the point where your relationship with God suffers tremendously.

Over the past few years I have learned a handful of things about Satan as he as attacked my life time and time again, one of which being: when he can't convince me to believe the lies about myself, he feeds me lies about my Heavenly Father.

"God is not loving. He is not gracious or merciful. He will never forgive your sins." All of which are so far from the truth, but at times I have found myself believing these things.

As previously mentioned, I have been caught up in my sin to the point that I couldn't hardly go to God in prayer or read His Word because I was so shameful and honestly I just didn't want bring my problems to Him because I was afraid.

Here is the thing though: God already knows every detail of your life. (Psalm 139:1) This includes your bad days, the things you are shameful of, and your sins.

When I first heard of God's omniscience I was scared of it, and then a little later I began to simply ignore it as I would attempt to hide my sin from Him. However, over time, God revealed His Truths on the subject to me.

We do not have to be afraid of His omniscience! When we are find ourselves scared or trying to hide details of our lives from Him, we are accepting lies of the enemy.

There is nothing to be afraid of because God does not look at us with eyes that scrutinize every little aspect of our life that He does not like... He looks at us with eyes of grace!

When God looks at you He sees:

A new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
A child who has been reconciled by Christ, whose sins are not counted (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
A child of the light (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
A victor (Romans 8:37)
A chosen and appointed child (John 15:16)
A co-heir of Christ (Romans 8:17)

And so many other beautiful things, none of which we should be afraid of.

In addition to the way that God views us, He also continually offers us His forgiveness.

No sins of ours are too big to be forgiven. When Jesus died on the cross, He died for ALL of our sins, each and every one of them, and The gift of forgiveness is ours for eternity. 

How comforting it is that when we are broken by our sin we can freely go to our Father for healing and restoration and allow Him to wash our sins away as white as snow (Isaiah 1:18).

There is no reason for us to be afraid or shameful. We are not victims of our sin, we are conquerors of it, and the first step to conquering our sins must start with going to the Father with them and allowing Him to view every aspect of yourself including the broken parts of you that are results from the pains of sin you have not allowed Him to forgive. When you draw closer to Him you allow Him to transform whatever may be broken into something beautiful.

The Key

This morning I walked into class slightly overwhelmed. I had a lot on my plate and much to accomplish before the day's end, and honestly, I didn't even want to be there because I felt like it was just a waste of an hour that I needed to do other things. However, I knew I needed to be there in order to have my papers from last week returned so that I could work on the next one that was due.

As the class started, my professor told us he had good news and bad news. He shared the bad news first... "I do not have your papers from the last two weeks ready to return to you."

Irritated, I rolled my eyes as I thought to myself, "The only reason I came to this dumb class was for those papers. I ought to just leave." However, something told me that I needed to stay in my seat for the rest of the class.

My professor then proceeded to give us the good news... "I have decided to cut the length of your final paper in half, on one condition. You are to watch this short film (Obsession: Radical Islam's War Against The West) and write a short summary of what you took from the film. If you don't want to do that, you can continue with the original assignment."

Again, I thought to myself, "Well, this is definitely doable, and it's a lot easier than the original assignment. I guess coming to class wasn't so bad after all." However, I was still slightly irritated that I couldn't continue working on the rest of my papers without my previous ones being handed back.

Then he reached for his things and pulled out a large bag of assorted keys. (Talk about weird.) He then proceeded to pass out an individual key to me and the rest of my classmates. I was slightly confused, but I ended up with one, which in my opinion, was pretty cute (for a key). So of course, being the girly girl that I can be at times, I snapped this picture.

He then asked us if anyone was familiar with the verse Luke 11:52. 

(Now keep in mind: yes, I do go to a Christian university, however I was not in a Christian studies class or any type of biblical class for that matter. I was just in one of my regular ole psychology classes, student research.)

None of us knew the verse off of the top of our heads, so he pulled his Bible out of his bag and gave it to the student in front of me to read the verse. It stated: "Woe to you lawyers! For you have taken away the key of knowledge. You did not enter yourselves, and you hindered those who were entering."

After he finished reading, my professor asked us if we knew what the key of knowledge was. A student to my right said, "The fear of The Lord is the key to knowledge" and she was so right. 

My professor then asked her how she knew that, and she proceeded to quote Proverbs 1:7, which says: "The fear of The Lord is the foundation of true knowledge." 

At this point in time, I was on the edge of my seat completely focused on where he was going with this analogy.

My professor then proceeded to tell us that the film he was asking us to watch (if we chose to do so in lieu of our original assignment) was slightly disturbing. He explained to us how hard it would be to have our eyes opened to something that the most of us were probably blinded to. He told us that our government was very similar to the lawyers that were spoken of in the verse that my classmate just read. With that in mind, he asked us to hold the key that he gave us in our right hand while we watched the film as a source of comfort. 

At that moment things started to click for me. 

He gave us that key as a tangible reminder of the The Lord, our Source of comfort in times of need, our Source of knowledge if we simply ask, and our Source of wisdom and understanding (Isaiah 11:2). 

My professor must have seen the fascination on my face, because he then asked me if I thought he was crazy. I quickly responded with, "No, not at all." 

My whole mindset of the day's class changed in that moment as I thought to myself, "He isn't crazy. He isn't crazy at all. My psychology professor just shared the Gospel with me and my fellow classmates through an assignment that was given to us in order to lighten our load this semester."

A few minutes later and after some further discussion amongst the class, he dismissed us. 

I left refreshed. I left joyful. I left reminded that The Lord is sovereign, that He is my comfort, and that fearing Him is the key to knowledge. I left reminded that things may not always go as planned, that at times I will be inconvenienced and irritated; but The Lord always has a plan, and that plan is far greater than anything I could have formed for myself.

I have a feeling that I will be using this key as a reminder of The Lord more often than my professor intended for during that short film he asked us to watch..... 

Oh how thankful I am for days like today.