For the Lonely Hearts

The pain of loneliness is one that I know all to well, and sadly, I'm well aware that I'm not the only one who is well acquainted with this pain. Loneliness is a battle that all of us face at some point ––– some more than others.

I'm not usually quick to recover from these seasons of loneliness either, so I often beat myself up over it for quite some time.

"If only you were more outgoing..."
"Why can't you keep the interest of your friends?" 
"No one likes you because ______."
"You just need to get over your fears and meet new people."

... and so on and so forth, ultimately leading into a constant state of "I'm just not good enough." (Which I've come to realize are all LIES that the enemy tries to convince me of)

I've opened up to people about my loneliness before and the response is always the same, "But you know so many people???" 

They're right. I know a lot of people, but the truth is, I don't feel known by hardly anyone. I often feel out of place and unwanted in nearly every place I go. In fact, I'm often the loneliest when I'm in a big group of people.

I will spend my days and nights praying for a friend, and God often immediately answers my heartaches by providing me someone to connect with during that season of loneliness. However, as time passes and life goes on, most of these friendships end up dwindling away; then naturally, the feelings of inadequacy would rise again in my life. "Why does everyone always walk away from me? Why am I not good enough?"

Don't get me wrong, I have a few really great friends that have managed to stick around with me for quite some time, and my mom is always super cool. (Hey mom ;) I know you're reading this) I love and value these relationships because I know they are simply a mere reflection of the vast amount of love Christ has for me. But sometimes these seasons of loneliness just creep up in my life and try to get the best of me.

On one hand I am so unworthy of the love of others, but on the other, I am loved and worthy of that love because Christ has declared me His daughter. It's taking time, but I am learning that my identity is not found in those who stay or walk away. My identity is found in Christ alone.

If you are feeling lonely today, I encourage you to express those feelings of loneliness to Jesus right now. He understands because He experienced the ultimate abandonment on the cross in order to express His love for YOU.

Invite His love to permeate every piece of your weary heart because He does understand, and He does want to comfort you. Then ask Him to take your ugly loneliness and turn it into something beautiful, something that is honoring to Him. Offer your loneliness to Him as an act of worship, fully depending on Him to satisfy your heart.

He is a father to the fatherless, a friend to the friendless, and our ultimate source of love and hope.

Take the Time to Rest

As I looked around my dorm room earlier I saw a mountain of assignments that needed to be done, a suitcase that needed to be unpacked, a couple loads of laundry that needed to be washed and put away, a phone lit up with 7 text messages and 2 phone calls that needed to be responded to, a list of people that I needed to meet with later in the afternoon, bible study material that needed to be looked over, and countless other things that were begging for my time and my attention.

All the while, I felt the Spirit knocking at my heart... "Erin, it's time to rest. I know what you have to do today, but I also know what you need to even accomplish those things."

So that's what I did...

I rested on His promises and on His Word. I rested in His peace, His love, His understanding, and His sovereignty. I rested in the gift of time that He graciously gave me to simply sit in His presence and renew my mind, body, and spirit.

I rested. 

I'll be honest, the first few minutes of my "resting" weren't actually resting. Rather, my mind was entangled with the many thoughts trying to convince me that I was seemingly wasting my time doing something that I didn't necessarily have time for in the first place.

"I've already had my quiet time, God. I don't have time to rest with you right now."

However, I was quickly reminded who the Author of time truly is, and I was able to sit back in peace and accept the beautiful gift of rest that He so graciously was giving to me.

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How often are you like I was today?

Overwhelmed and busy

How often do you feel convinced that you don't even have time to spend with the Author of time Himself?

Let me just encourage you to PRESS PAUSE.

Seriously pause and take a break from the chaos of life and simply spend time with your Heavenly Father.

If you're a wannabe superwoman (or superman) like me, you might think that taking a break from the busyness is a sign of weakness or laziness, but I think that's far from the truth.

Take a look at Jesus: the man who had greater things to do than you and I will ever have on our agendas, yet He still took breaks. Those breaks didn't come when He was at His breaking point, overwhelmed and tired by His relentless to-do list. Rather, those breaks were a part of His daily routine.

At different times of the day (early morning, the middle of day, late at night) He would get alone to spend time with God and renew His spirit....

Even when crowds gathered to listen to Him speak and see His miracles He would withdraw to lonely places to pray (Luke 5:15-16)

Sometimes He would spend the whole night pouring His heart out before God on a mountain (Luke 6:12)

Early in the morning before the sun would rise and the world would wake He got up and went to a solitary place to be with God (Mark 1:35).

He didn't let his todo list, friends, or other things/people get in the way of those breaks either. Even when a crowd of people were begging for his attention, He chose to still follow through with His daily routine of resting in the Father.

Resting is not a sign of weakness or even a display of laziness; it is a sign of strength. 

In order to fulfill God's will for our lives, we have to be empowered by Him. How can we do that without resting and spending time in His presence?

We are told countless times in the Bible to go The Lord, to cast our cares on Him, to lay our burdens at His feet, to be refreshed and strengthened by Him, and to spend time alone with Him.

Stop running on empty. Stop looking at your todo list and convincing yourself you don't have time to get alone with God.

Take a minute (or thirty) and rest in His love.

Be renewed and refreshed, not just today, but everyday.

Believe me, it's worth it. 

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” -Matthew 6:6