People Pleasing is Idolatry

Hi, my name is Erin Pentecost, and I am a recovering people pleaser. 

I have spent nearly my whole life trying to make other people happy, and let me tell you... it's exhausting.

Well to make a long story short, the other day I was reading in Galatians and there was a part that really stuck out to me; it says, "If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant." (Galatians 1:10)

As I let Paul's words soak in for while, I started to recognize how much of my life is consumed by "people pleasing," and after awhile I really started to be convicted about how much I do to make other people happy with me.

I'm sure you're thinking, "What's the big deal about making others happy?" I can imagine you sitting there thinking that or something along the same line because I too have thought the same things before about myself. Recently, however, God has really been revealing things in my life that I've been doing which have made winning the approval of man really stick out to be an idol in my life.

• Being overly critical of myself
• Continually being fearful of any risks or possibilities of being "wrong" 
• Thriving on praise/appreciation from others
• Over apologizing for unnecessary things 
• Saying "yes" to things that I don't want to do
• Constantly being fearful of what others may think if I don't always seem "perfect" 
• Rarely asking for help with things in my own life 

And to be completely honest, that list is only scratching the surface of things God has been revealing to me about my people pleasing attributes. 

For so long I have tried to convince myself that my motives for pleasing others were pure. I mean, let's be honest, continually trying to please EVERYONE sounds pretty selfless and awesome, right? 

Wrong. 

People pleasing was and always has been a form of idolatry in my life. Why? Because I continually chose to put the wants, needs, opinions, and approval of man before God. I was not being Christ's servant.

I allowed others to seemingly control me rather that allowing God to truly be sovereign over my life. I was more fearful of the opinion of man rather than fearing God in a healthy and proper way. I was not being Christ's servant. 

I had very poor stewardship because I often would spread myself too thin or have intentions of good things without ever being able to completely follow through for various reasons. I was not being Christ's servant. 

My motives were based on fear of rejection, fear of making others mad/upset, fear of disappointment, etc. My motives were not based on love. I was not being Christ's servant. 

And the list could go on... No matter how "good" some of the things I would do were, I was never doing them as a true servant of Christ because of the way I had allowed people pleasing to become such an idol in my life. Continually I would find myself burned out, exhausted, and sometimes even a little bitter because of my people pleasing attributes. I can try to twist things all day long and tell you that everything that I did was out of love, but that wouldn't be true. Love pursues authenticity, not a sense of acceptance from others. 

As I share my heart with you about this and openly share about some of these things that God has been revealing in my life, I can't help but think that maybe some of you reading this are or have been struggling in this area of your life. Maybe you have been struggling with people pleasing for awhile now and your eyes are just now being opened to the way it can become such an idol in your life despite your often "good" intentions. Well, I would like to give you some hope and a sense of direction.

Rip the idol out from its roots and dig into Scripture. Start basing your worth and approval off of the Truths in God's Word rather than on the opinion of man. Understand that God must become MORE in your life while you must become LESS. Stop allowing the acceptance of man be such a priority in your life... Take the time to soak in the fact that God completely and fully accepts you as you are, no strings attached. The prison of constantly pleasing other people is miserable and exhausting, but the joy that comes from making God FIRST in your life and then being able to serve others through His strength and power is indescribable!

There's nothing wrong with doing things for other people (according to Philippians 2, we are to have a Christ like attitude by acknowledging and respecting the interests of others), but there is a big difference in doing things for others as a servant of Christ and as someone who simply wants to seek acceptance by trying to please everyone. You have to allow your acceptance come from God first. Take a minute to sit back in God's presence and just let Him love you and accept you for who you are. Receive His love first so that you can truly and purely love others. 

I started this post by saying I am a RECOVERING people pleaser. There's a good chance that if you invited me to go to lunch for mexican and I wanted pizza, I would be eating chips and salsa. But I have been learning the importance of rest, the importance of saying "no" when I need to, that God's love for me is not based on how much I do for others, and that putting my relationship with The Lord FIRST at all times is the only way I can truly be a servant of Christ which is ultimately the best thing I can do for myself and for others. And let me tell you, it's been a beautiful journey of recovery so far.

So do you want to grab some pizza? ;)

His Will, Not Mine

I like to keep journals. In fact, I love to keep journals... especially the ones where I try my best to document what God is doing in my life at the time.

It's always interesting to pick up an old notebook and read what all I've written in the past. There's pages covered in both tears of joy and pain from the times that I've poured my heart out to The Lord using an ink pen and a couple of tattered pages in old journal.

I actually decided to do that last night. I picked up an old prayer journal, and I chose to flip through the pages and simply just skim over what was going on in my life a little over a year ago.

As I flipped through the pages, I noticed time and time again where I would seemingly beg God to do things my way... not necessarily in a demanding sense, but I recognized the urgency I had for things to align with what I wanted rather than simply praying for God's will to be done through my situations.

I couldn't help but laugh at myself as I read some of the things that I had prayed for. The hopes and dreams that I had at the time weren't necessarily "bad," but I just can't seem to even imagine where I would be in life if I had actually received the things I had wanted. Good thing God is sovereign, and I am not.

I write this because I vividly remember some of the disappointment that I faced when things didn't add up in my life at the time. I remember foolishly thinking that God was never going to bring me out of my situation or show me where to go since I clearly wasn't going where I had anticipated to go with my life.

I wish I could write to my past self and encourage my young heart that things were, in fact, going to be completely okay in the end... it would have saved me a lot of tears and confusion, I'm sure. However, sadly, I can't do that, but hopefully I can encourage you.

I can completely and honestly tell you that my hopes, plans, and dreams were nothing compared to what God has been doing in my life here recently... they are FAR better. (I mean duh.. why wouldn't they be? He has our very best interests in mind)

But since I am being honest, it hasn't all been easy. I mean, let's be real, when is it ever easy to turn your back on your own plans and start heading towards something completely different from what you had always imagined? While there are many specific things that I am thankful for because they haven't gone as I had originally hoped... there are also things that still do not make sense to me, but I know that God has it under control.

If I could give one piece of advice... it would be to trust The Lord. Like seriously... TRUST HIM. His ways, His plans, His love, His Word, His promises, His faithfulness, His goodness...

Trust Him through the times where things are clear and then again when things are confusing, and release the outcomes into His hands because He truly does have your best interests in mind, even when you don't have an understanding of the situation. All the while, develop a patient attitude alongside your trust. Patience just seems to go hand in hand with trust, something I quickly learned.

It's okay to have hopes, dreams, and plans for a future, but always be receptive of what The Lord is prompting your heart for, even when it doesn't align with your own plans. If He answers your prayers with a "no" or simply redirects your path, choose to follow Him anyway. Let His will be done and not your own; only then will you be able to live an abundant life.

Moving Forward From Sin

I feel like there's a time in everyone's life when we truly just regret something that we have done in the past. Have you ever been there? Are you there now, just beating yourself up over something that you did or something that you said?

After sitting in regret for a little while, normally the guilt turns into self condemnation, and Satan loves that. But according to Scripture, there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ (Romans 8:1) Sadly, a lot of us don't always remember that when faced with feelings of oppression.

Sure, we mess up. We sin. We fall short. But we also have a Father who loves us and willingly forgives us when we ask. We have to acknowledge our conviction, repent, ask for forgiveness, but then we have to move forward.

Satan so often traps us in guilt and condemnation when we choose to stay focused on our mistakes and our pasts. He thrives when we get caught up in shame and become focused on our pasts because he knows that there's no possible way to truly follow Christ with our heads turned behind us.

Think about it... You can't walk a straight line with your head turned around, can you? So what makes you think that you can keep your eyes on Christ and follow Him wholeheartedly while you're stuck in the past?

You don't have to wallow in self pity or condemnation after you've repented from your sins. When you find yourself with your head hung low in shame, remind yourself that your Father is not giving you those feelings of oppression. You have the power to get rid of those feelings; read scripture, pray, and choose to believe the way God truly views you and your situation. He loves you. He treasures you. And He forgives you.

Praying For Others

A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend, and she ended up telling me a few prayer requests. I absolutely love to pray, especially for other people, so naturally I responded with, "Of course I'll be praying for you!!"

I had every intention of praying for her, believe me, but somewhere along the busyness of my day, I simply forgot. It wasn't until I saw her again that I remembered I had forgotten to do something I had promised to do.

I lied. And of all things, I lied about something sacred and holy. My heart sunk, and from this post, I'm sure you can tell I have been very convicted about my sin.

I feel like this is something we do often as Christians. By no means do I think that any of us intentionally lie about praying for others, but I do think that we toss around the phrase "I'm praying for you." as if it's something we take lightly, which is why I'm writing this post.

Prayer is far from something that we can just take lightly. I read a quote on the National Day of Prayer website that says the following, "Prayer has subdued the strength of fire. It has bridled the rage of lions, hushed anarchy to rest, extinguished wars, appeased the elements, burst the chains of death, expanded the fates of heaven, assuaged diseases, dispelled frauds, rescued cities from destruction, staid the sun in its course, and arrested the progress of the thunderbolt. In this communion with God, there is an all-sufficient panoply, a treasure undiminished, a mine that is never exhausted, a sky unobscured by clouds, a heaven unruffled by the storm. It is the root, the fountain, the mother of a thousand blessings!" And to think, we take something that powerful, that beautiful, and that astounding and simply just forget to do it, even when we promise others that we will. 

Honestly, I don't really have a "solution" for the problem, we are all forgetful beings and sometimes we don't really think about our words and our actions very thoroughly. But I have definitely been taking steps towards staying accountable in my prayer walk, which I wanted to share with you guys!

1. When someone asks you to pray for them (especially in person) just pray for them right then and there. It's so encouraging knowing someone is praying for you, so why not lift them up in the moment by praying over them while they're there? 
2. Be honest with people. Sounds simple, right? But really, only take on the responsibility of praying for someone if you know that you can handle it. Don't promise more than you can or will do.
3. Write prayer requests down! I don't always have pen and paper with me, but I generally always have my phone. (I finally found a use for the Notes app!) Then just simply go to your notes daily and get a quick refresher on those prayer requests of the day! 
4. Focus more on your own personal prayer and quiet time. Take time out of your day to be diligent and focused on The Lord, and start to ask Him to remind you to pray for those that you say you will be praying for. 

Prayer has become something that we offer rather than we do. And today by writing this post, I just wanted to challenge you to take the same steps I have been taking towards being more accountable in your prayer walk. Let's stop with the empty statement "I will pray for you." and start taking the responsibility of following through with what we say we will do. 

God loves YOU.

Jesus loves me! This I know,

1. For the Bible tells me so;
   Little ones to Him belong;
   They are weak, but He is strong.
   
   
   Yes, Jesus loves me!
   Yes, Jesus loves me!
   Yes, Jesus loves me!
   The Bible tells me so.
   
   
   If you're anything like me, you grew up singing that song. And over the years, as you've grown up, you've memorized countless scriptures on the love God has for you. 
   
   
   So over time you've come to know for a fact that God loves you; it's written all throughout Scripture, but do you believe it?
   
   
   I find myself loving God easily and believing His love for me when things are going smoothly, when everything in life just seems to be going good. 
   
   
   But when life knocks me down and I'm lost and confused at a dead end in my life, it's just a little harder for me to sing that song and believe that God loves me.
   
   
   I'm just being honest with you guys, and hopefully you can relate.
   
   
   So today I chose to go through some of the people in the Bible who I think must have been confused, lost, and at a dead end in their life, and I wanted to see how they handled things.
   
   
   I started with Hannah. For YEARS, Hannah was taunted and teased for being unable to conceive a child. She was teased to such an extent that it burdened her so badly that she would be unable to eat and do nothing but cry. 
   
   
   I then remembered Abraham. He was promised that he would be the father of nations, but his wife could not bear children for him. They took matters into their owns hands and their servant, Hagar, had Ishmael, yet God still blessed Sarah and Abraham with their own son later down the road. Isaac was born, exactly as God had promised. However, after some time later, God asked Abraham to take Isaac, the son he was blessed with and dearly loved, to the land of Moriah and SACRIFICE him.
   
   
   Lastly, I went to Job. Job lost EVERYTHING. And after he was faced with the tremendous grief of losing ALL of his animals, servants, and children, he was then struck with a disease that covered his entire body with boils. 
   
   
   We know the ending of each of their stories, and we see how God came through for them. It's comforting because we see so how God cares for His people and how He has things in His control.
   
   
   The thing about it though, just because we now know the ending of their stories, they did not. Hannah did not know that God would answer her prayers and give her a son. Abraham did not know that God would stop him right before he killed his own son as a sacrifice. And Job did not know that God would bless him with twice as much as he had before. 
   
   
   That's where we need to learn a lesson. 
   
   
   They had no idea the outcomes of their stories while they were in the midst of their trials in life (just as we have no idea what ours are) yet they remained faithful to The Lord and they trusted and believed that God loved them through it all. 
   
   
   God loved Hannah. God loved Abraham. God loved Job. And God loves YOU. 
   
   
   When you're facing a trial in your life, remain confident in The Lord even when life gives you every reason to doubt Him. God will come through just as He did for Hannah, Abraham, and Job, and one day you'll be able to share your story of The Lord's faithfulness for others too.  
   
   
   
   

A Battle For Your Heart

I recently read the book called Waking the Dead by John Eldredge, and let me tell you... if you haven't read it, go get it now and start reading. I finished the book a couple of weeks ago, and I am actually planning on rereading it when I finish the busyness of this semester; it's that good.

However, for those of you who haven't read it yet, I want to share a little bit of what I learned, and I also want to share a little passage from the book with you guys:

"If Jesus said the thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, well, then, why don't we think the thief ever actually comes to steal and kill and destroy? Good grief—the things people just roll over and accept as "God's will." The house was just the move to steal; the Enemy wanted to kill our hearts and destroy our faith and all that flows from it. I think that's nearly always true. The particular attack is not the issue; he'll steal anything to kill and destroy. 

During an assault like that you must remember: make no agreements. The Enemy will suggest all sorts of things. You see—God doesn't care. You're not worth fighting for. Your heart doesn't matter. You can't trust Him. He is trying to kill your heart, destroy the glory of your life. It will feel hard—really hard, almost impossible—but whatever you do, make no agreements. You have to start there."

-Waking the Dead, 156

That first line gets me every time. 

Jesus clearly told us in John 10 that the enemy's sole purpose is to attack us, steal from us, and ultimately destroy us. How naive we are to completely ignore what He clearly warned us of and act as if we are above (or maybe even below) the line of the enemy's attacks. 

Okay, so maybe you're getting the picture now, like I did. The enemy desperately wants to attack my life, specifically my heart.... but why???

Why? Because YOU are an image bearer of The Lord (Genesis 1:27). Of course the enemy wants to attack you, he hates that we bear the image of Christ. The enemy wants to do anything and everything to harm and ruin the lives of those who bear the image of God, to steal and kill and destroy them. 

Your life isn't going to and never will make sense until you come to terms with the fact that "the story of your life is the story of the long and brutal assault on your heart by the one who knows what you could be and fears it" (Waking the Dead, 149). 

Did you just read that??? The enemy KNOWS what you could be and he FEARS it. 

Satan along with the other fallen angels only have a short time here on earth to attack us, to steal from us, and to destroy us, and they are angry (Revelation 12:12). So why is it that we still live our lives in ignorance of these attacks in our lives—on our hearts. 

Wake up, people. 

I say that because that's what I have to tell myself every day.

"Wake up, Erin. Acknowledge these attacks on your life, and fight." 

The enemy of our soul is going to take every victory in our lives that he can get, no matter how small. Those thoughts of weakness, ugliness, or pride? Those aren't from your Father, so where do you think you got them? 

We just accept those little lies in our heads like they're nothing, and that scares me. It scares me because I've been there. I've accepted lie after lie after lie. I've been a slave to my own thoughts, captive to the thoughts that the enemy so desperately wanted me to keep. 

Another line in Waking the Dead that was a big eye opener for me says this, "Any movement toward God or others, will be opposed. Marriage, friendship, beauty, rest—the thief wants it all" (154).

Why do we let the enemy keep us pinned down then? Why do we just stop when we face opposition in our lives? Why don't we wake up and acknowledge the war that we are in the midst of? 

Go read Ephesians 6. 

This is not a war between flesh-and-blood enemies; we are at a war against the strategies of the devil, and it's time to put on the full armor of God and live our lives accordingly. 

Let me tell you, it's not going to be easy. In fact, I bet it's going to get a lot worse before it gets any better. Satan is going to try harder and harder when he realizes that you are finally going to start resisting his attacks on your life. He's scared of you. 

But don't lose hope. Keep your eyes on The Lord. Take up your shield, pick up your sword, and fight, for you are a treasure and warrior of the Kingdom. 

God's Diamonds

Diamonds are beautiful, aren't they?

I surely think so, but maybe that's just my girly side.

But really, diamonds are one of my favorite gemstones, and it's not because I have an expensive taste. Rather, it's because of the way that they are formed and still turn out so incredibly beautiful.

Diamonds are formed deep within the Earth (around 100 miles below the surface). So, if you know anything about science, you know it's hot down there, not to mention all of the weight and pressure of the overlying rock bearing down on the forming diamond. However, over time, the diamond is pushed up to the surface, and there we have it... the strongest and one of the most precious gemstones created. Pretty amazing, huh?

With that being said, I really appreciate the beauty of a diamond. Now if I, and many others I'm sure, have such an appreciation for the beauty of a diamond, think of the way our Heavenly Father must look at us after going through something difficult in our lives. When we are overwhelmed, beat down, and exhausted by the weight of this world, I imagine Him smiling and saying, "They are going to come out of this so much stronger and more beautiful than before." and that is what we do!

Don't be discouraged when you are facing a difficult time in your life. You will break through the surface soon. You will come out stronger and more beautiful than before, and your Father will look at you and consider you one of His most precious jewels (Malachi 3:17).