Growing up I've wanted to be a number of things including a doctor, a photographer, and even a sign language interpreter. Let's just say I've had a number of interests over the past few years, and my indecisive nature never really made things easy on me as I began choosing the path for my future.
Since I couldn't decide what I wanted to do career-wise, I chose to go to college as an undecided major. However, at the time I really felt like I should go ahead and take my pre-med biology course just in case I decided to be a doctor. I didn't want to get behind if I did choose to follow the pre-med route, but it wouldn't hurt me if I chose to go another direction. So it all worked out for my first semester.
It worked out until the day that I saw that I didn't have an A in the class.
I freaked out. If you know me, you know I'm an overachiever and often a perfectionist. Not to mention the fact that science classes had always been my best classes, so I was not happy with myself at all. I decided then and there that the pre-med route just wasn't for me.
My mom tried to explain to me over and over that it was only my freshman year, that I was adjusting, and that I was taking a really difficult course. And to be honest, she was right with every point she made, but it just wasn't good enough for me because I knew that I wasn't doing "the best."
Mom kept trying to get me to reevaluate my decision and keep going with it because she felt that I was basing my decision on the wrong factors. She never cared what I studied, but she didn't want me giving up on something I wanted. I didn't care, so I stubbornly ignored her counsel.
Well, over my break I ended up having to go to the doctor. I just got some medicines and left thinking everything was going to be fine. However, the next day I had gotten worse, and it was clear that I needed to go back. Mom called the doctor's office and squeezed me in, and I was able to see a different doctor from the day before. It was all a part of God's plan obviously.
So, I went to see this new doctor, and he knew exactly what was wrong. He immediately sent me to get a CT scan and ultimately prevented me from having an infection that could have spread to my brain and caused meningitis. (Of course that was a "Thank you, God" moment, but it wasn't even the best part).
God spoke to me that day through that doctor. My doctor didn't just keep me from getting sicker, or prevent my family from spending countless dollars in medical bills. He gave me some of the best advice I have ever received.
My mom asked the doctor to explain to me that it was okay to not have an A in a pre-med class, especially my first semester. I rolled my eyes at her as she explained my scenario to him and felt my face getting red, but in a few short moments I was blown away with his response.
He didn't just give me the cliche advice that I had been repeatedly hearing about it being my freshman year or that it was just a really hard course. He didn't tell me to stick with the pre-med classes either. He gave me advice that impacted my life spiritually.
He explained to me the importance of praying about what God wants for my future. He explained to me the importance of trusting that God would pave the path that I need to take. He then explained to me that I'm really never going to be satisfied with anything unless it was a part of God's plan. He was right. If God called me to be a teacher but I chose to be a doctor, I would never be happy. If God called me to be a nurse but I chose to be a photographer, I would never be happy. It all kind of started making sense to me.
His advice didn't make any decisions for me, but it's definitely adjusted my prayer walk. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up or what I want to study these next few years, but I know that whatever it is, God's already paving the road for me. I just need to pray, look up, and stop looking ahead.
