My Candy Crush Addiction

Someone once told me something along the lines of "When you can't sleep, don't count sheep; talk to the Shepherd." Okay, I probably butchered that quote, but you get the idea, right?

Well, I've gotten into a slump of not being able to sleep at night. Normally, you would be lucky to see me past nine, yet here I am writing another midnight blog post. That's all beside the point though. My point is that through these sleepless nights, I haven't been talking to my Shepherd. To be honest, I haven't even been counting sheep... I've been playing Candy Crush. (Embarrassing, I know)

As embarrassed as I am, I have a feeling that a couple of you can relate to my Candy Crush addiction. Now let's just see if you can relate to the frustrations that come with my addiction... I have been stuck on a stinking level for who knows how long. It's so frustrating. Seriously, nothing is more annoying than running out of moves when you are seriously only two more moves away from winning, but back to the point... I have failed on level 103 at least fifty times. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. 

Well tonight I decided I would take a break from Candy Crush and instead talk to my Shepherd.

In the middle of my praying two things happened... 

1. I decided that I would never again play Candy Crush when I can't sleep because praying for longer than usual is seriously is way better. If you don't believe me, just try it!

2. I realized that Candy Crush actually taught me a lesson. Well, it didn't really "teach" me a lesson, but it reminded me of one. 

I'm sure you're thinking I have lost it for thinking about Candy Crush during my prayer time, but bear with me. So you know how I told you that I have failed at level 103 around fifty times, and I told you how frustrated it makes me? Well the thing is, each time I fail I can push play again and a new board is made available for me to play on. All of my failures are wiped away, and they have no effect on my new game. It's pretty similar to the way God handles all of my failures. (The ones a lot bigger than my inability to match candies together.) When I confess my sins to God, I am made clean again. My "board" is made new. I do not have to dwell on my failures because my sins have been washed away by the precious blood of Christ. He forgives me, and He washes me clean as snow.

Struggling with Sin

Over the past few years I have had numerous believers come to me and tell me the sins that they are struggling with in hopes of seeking advice and/or prayer. In fact, I have even gone to other believers seeking prayer and counsel on the sins I struggle with. We tell each other our struggles with sin because that's what we are suppose to do, right?

The thing is.. I think some of us overuse the word "struggle" way too much. If you look up the word struggle in the dictionary it says "to make forceful or violent efforts to get free of restraint or constriction." Okay, well sin is definitely a restraint and constriction on our lives, but are we really struggling from it? Are we actually making a forceful or violent effort to become free of our sins, or are we merely claiming that we are struggling and continuing to live in our own sinful habits?

After telling others, "Hey, I'm really struggling with _______." we feel relief because we think we have justified living in our sin because others know that we are "struggling" with it. If someone catches us in our sin after admitting our struggles we think it's okay because we can then say "well I told you it was something I'm struggling with." 

Start thinking about your so-called "struggles" and really evaluate your life. Are you honestly struggling with your sins, or are you really wanting to be made clean, just not yet. Are you wanting to be made good, just not entirely. I'm sure no one would honestly pray, "Lord make my heart clean, but wait until after I commit this sin again." That's just absurd, but we definitely live our lives that way a lot of the time.

I guess in a sense this post is mostly just an eyeopener, however I also want to challenge you to really start dealing with your sins. Seriously, if you're going to call your sin a struggle, then start making every effort to stop committing it. If that means to walk away from your best friends when they are gossiping, then do it! If it means to have your computer taken from your room, then do it! The choice to stop sinning is yours. You have the power of Christ in you to help you resist temptations and make whatever changes in your life that you need to make. So, take advantage of that, and live in the light of The Lord. Remember, you are not alone. 

I want you to know that I am praying for those of you reading this. I honestly am. I am praying that you find your strength in Christ to fight against your sins, and I am praying that you will not be discouraged by your sins and instead continue fighting against them. I know sin can hold a strong grip on your life at times, but your God is stronger. 

It's that time of the year

It's that time of the year again, and no I'm not talking about the Christmas season. It's time for the Victoria Secret Fashion Show.

What is the purpose of the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, anyway? I'm sure many would argue it is for marketing purposes, but let's just be honest... are you really interested in purchasing that 10 million dollar bra? And even if the sole purpose of the show is for marketing reasons, is that the honest reason you will be watching tonight? I honestly can't tell you what the purpose is, but I think you should at least think about what you are getting yourself into before indulging yourself into a big pile of self pity because that's normally what you'll end up in.

Today I have read countless tweets and posts on Facebook about the excitement for tonight's fashion show, but the sad thing is... in a few hours the mood is going to completely shift. It happens every year. Girls begin posting negative things about themselves on social media, and they diminish their own self worth for the entire world to see, all the while talking about how "sexy" the VS angels are. No telling the numerous negative thoughts about their own worth that they keep to themselves. Honestly, some of the posts that I read genuinely concern me. I will say some of the posts are just lighthearted comments and over dramatized jokes trying to get attention; however, it really does break my heart because with the new year just around the corner, I know that many girls are secretly making resolutions to become just like these models. The sad part is, I know that these girls will go to any lengths to achieve their goals.

Just search Twitter if you don't believe me.. That's what I did.

"Currently feeling suicidal because I'm not a Victoria Secret model"
"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels #VSfashionshow"
"Wishing I ate less and threw up more"
"RIP self esteem"
"Skipping all of my meals today in honor of the VS fashion show"

You get the idea, right?

I'm not sitting here trying to condemn Victoria Secret or even the girls who choose to watch the fashion show tonight. I just want to share my heart on the matter...

I use to struggle with comparison a lot. Whether it was someone I personally knew or a celebrity, I would find myself comparing my looks, circumstances, and my life to theirs. It became an unhealthy "habit" I formed which ultimately just resulted in a bunch of jealousy and unsatisfaction with myself. We all deal with comparison at some point in our lives (some more than others), and if you say you've never compared yourself to anyone else before, you're lying.

I guess in a sense that's why my heart hurts so deeply for the girls who compare themselves to these models, because I've been there. I have sat in self pity night after night because of comparison before. I know the damage it can do to ones self. I know the pain it can cause, and I know how much it takes to walk confidently again. However, I also now know that there is a way out of it, and that is through Christ. I have come to the realization that I am more than the sum of my appearance, my mistakes, or my circumstances. I am more because I am a daughter of The King.  I am more because I was created in the image of God. I am more because I was bought with the precious blood of Christ, and let me tell you; YOU are more too!

Tonight, I just ask that if you choose to watch the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, don't sit there and compare yourself to the models. Don't allow your self esteem and self worth to be destroyed by a fashion show on TV. Don't make resolutions to be someone your not. Simply be yourself and the person God created you to be. And for those who are not watching tonight, I ask that you please pray with me for the girls who are hurting because of their distorted views of themselves. Pray that they will soon find peace in knowing that they are worthy and beautiful because they are daughters of The King.