We Are Pursued

I'm at a point in life where it seems like I'm surrounded by either couples who are already acting as if they are going to be getting married or singles who feel as if they are going to be "forever alone" because they aren't currently in a relationship.

In either scenario, the girl is longing to be sought after wholeheartedly. Whether she's single waiting on a pursuer, or she's in a relationship longing to be romanced and loved each and every day... She wants to be sought after, and she wants her pursuer to pursue her wholeheartedly! When she doesn't receive the romancing she had been wanting for so long, she begins to put walls up and shut people out. 

Keep in mind when I'm talking about this "she," I'm talking about myself just as much as any other girl reading this. It's an inevitable desire we have as women to be pursued. Too often though, we forget that we are already being pursued each and every day by the King of Kings, the ultimate pursuer.

Think about the last sunset you watched... breathtaking, huh? Your pursuer painted that in the sky just for you. Think about the all of the songs the birds sing outside your window each morning... beautiful, aren't they? Your pursuer wrote every note to those songs for you to hear. Think about the calm breeze that brushed against your face as you stepped outside the other day... comforting wasn't it? Your pursuer knew you needed that. The list could go on and on about the ways God reveals His love for us. No, it's not teddy bears and chocolates, and it's not a bouquet of flowers or being serenaded from your window either; it's more intimate than any of that. God knows the things that make your heart flutter. He knows the things that sweep you off your feet and take your breath away, all of which are unique to YOU! Ask God to reveal Himself to you, to show you how He has been pursuing you. Ask Him to reveal His love to you, and I promise, if you ask for that with a genuine desire to see Him, He is going to reveal Himself to you.

Now don't get me wrong, things won't always be easy just like the seasons of singleness or even the times where the relationship just isn't going too well. We get discouraged. We feel lonely. We are emotional. It's expected, especially as women. And like I've previously talked about before: there are times where God feels like He's right by your side holding you by your hand, and there are times where you can't seem to find Him anywhere. However instead of putting walls up and shutting God out like you normally would with anyone else, I challenge you to pray and ask God to just reveal Himself to you again. Trust me, He's going to wipe those tears away and heal your brokenness when you ask Him to.

He allows us to feel those uneasy points so that we can reignite that fire to be close to Him again. He wants to be sought after too, don't you see? He wants us to feel broken because when we simply ask Him to comfort our hearts, He is going to do it! He wants to be our ultimate comforter and lover of our soul. When we allow God to comfort our hearts and seek after us, we stop seeing Him as just a God we are to be obedient to and worship on Sunday mornings, and instead we see Him as our one true pursuer, the only One worthy of our hearts.

Trust Without Borders

Okay so I don't know if you are familiar with the song "Oceans" by Hillsong United or not, so I'm just going to share a link so that you can listen to the song before reading my post! 

I know the song is pretty long, but it is beautiful. I get chills every time I hear the song because I'm not just standing there in worship singing a song... I'm singing a prayer asking God to test my faith. I'm ASKING for God to take me further than I could ever wander on my own. 

I've heard the song countless times on Pandora, in worship, etc. In fact, I heard it last week at our freshman chapel. Well last night we sang the song at our BSU gathering we have every week, and I was singing along until it got to the bridge where it says: 


Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

When those words hit the screen and everyone around me started singing that out loud my eyes filled with tears and I choked. I couldn't bring the words out of my mouth. I was broken, standing there, I felt The Lord's overwhelming conviction. I had been singing this song the entire time and even the previous week in Chapel, but right then I realized I didn't mean a word I was saying, and it hit me hard. I stood there, broken before the Lord, ashamed.

Throughout the song I was singing about how my faith would stand firm even when it was tested. I was singing about finding rest in my Savior's arms in the midst of the chaos in life. I was singing about how my God had never failed me, and He wouldn't start now. Though every bit of that is 100% true, I knew I wasn't living my life that way. 

Right now, if you know me, you know how overwhelmed I have been throughout this whole transitioning process from home to college. I have good days, and then I have really bad days where I feel like I can't handle it anymore. There's times where I would spend night after night in tears because I couldn't seem to grasp why God brought me here if He knew I was going to be having such a hard time adjusting. I know that I am suppose to be here at Mississippi College, but I still find myself doubting for whatever reason. I still get upset at the end of the day when I get discouraged by various things. I still find myself questioning God and His reasoning. I wasn't living out the words I was singing. The prayer I was praying throughout that song couldn't even leave my mouth because I knew that I didn't mean a word of it. I didn't want God to call me anywhere; I wanted to go home. I didn't want my faith to be tested; I was exhausted by what life had been to me lately. I didn't want to be led where my trust was without borders; I knew that I couldn't even trust God within set borders. 

All of that hit me hard, it was like I got knocked out of breath. I seriously couldn't bring the words out of my mouth. I knew that I couldn't sing those words and mean a word of it. I choked. In that moment as the tears rolled down my face, I took a step back and thought about what I had been singing earlier...


Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed, and You won't start now

God's sovereign hand has been my guide even when I felt alone, even when I was scared, even when I was at my breaking point. HE WAS THERE. His grace was waiting there for me, His hand was guiding me throughout the whole process. I wasn't alone. He had never let me down before, and He had no intentions of starting now. He was there, holding me by my right hand, waiting for me to just follow His lead. 

I stood there, wiped the tears away, and started to pray. I asked God to equip me with the strength to make it through what I have considered to be one of the loneliest times of my life. I asked God to give me courage to face each day with a good attitude. I asked God to allow me to be taken out where my trust had no borders. I wanted to start trusting God without having to see a reason behind every little detail of the day. I wanted to trust God in spite of the emotions that overwhelmed me each night. I wanted a trust without borders.

I don't know what this week or the following weeks are going to bring me. I know that the oceans are going to rise at times, but I will look above the waters. I will continue trusting because my God has never let me down, and He NEVER will. 




 

 

Spiritual Highs and Lows

Most Christians are familiar with the concept of spiritual highs and lows. Often times we compare our spiritual walk with a roller coaster, a mountain and valley, or a heart monitor. Each example containing a constant pattern of up and down motions.

When we are at a "spiritual high" we feel God's presence in every circumstance. We are able to speak with Him on the mountain top and hear His voice. However, when we face a "spiritual low," we are at the valley where we feel as if God cannot be found. We are consumed by depressing thoughts, and at times we feel as if we will never make it back to the top again.

Our spiritual walk is almost always defined by a constant rhythm of up and down movements. Why can't we just stay at the top and experience all that God has to offer forever? I know I wish I could have that. I hate how at times I can allow myself to fall to such a low point in life that I can't even feel God's presence. As a Christian, I know that He's always there, but I can't always feel that He's there. I think every Christian can relate to what I am talking about. And if not, please feel free to share with me how you do it! I'd love that.

I find myself at the highest point in my spiritual walk after a church camp, a retreat, a conference, etc. It's so easy to get close and personal to The Lord when you're in an environment where nearly everyone is pursuing The Lord's will for their life. After a few days or even a week or two of having that constant intimacy with Christ, I'm definitely at my spiritual high. I hate admitting that. I'm ashamed that I can't reach that highest point on my own.

I find myself at the lowest points when things don't go the way I thought they were suppose to, when I lose someone I care about, when things in life just don't make sense to me. And often times, I go from an amazing spiritual high and immediately into a spiritual low. Even though in my heart I know God is control of all circumstances and that He's going to make good out of whatever I'm going through, I still allow myself to fall into a spiritual slump. I'm ashamed of that as well. I'm ashamed that through the times when I need God the most I allow myself to go days without reading my Bible or praying like I should.

I've done a lot of thinking about spiritual highs and lows, and I realized that even Jesus Himself experienced a similar situation. In Mark 1, we see that Jesus was baptized and the Heavens opened up for Him, but then the following 40 days He experienced great temptation by Satan himself.  That sounds like a pretty low point if you ask me. Though Jesus was faithful and did not fall into the temptations, He still had to experience a valley in life. With that chapter in mind, we see that it is biblical to experience spiritual highs and lows.

I think God gives us those high moments to show us what it's like to be in His presence. However, often times we allow our emotions to control that spiritual high, and our emotions are unstable like C.S. Lewis says, "Though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not." Spiritual highs are almost always led by emotions especially when you experience them during a camp or retreat; but God wants us to experience our spiritual highs when He is doing something beautiful in our lives and when we reach the mountain top experience by our strong faith in Him instead of by emotions. Though church camps, retreats, and conferences are all wonderful experiences, we shouldn't depend on them to reach the top of the mountain and be close to God.

On the other hand, I think God gives us spiritual lows so that we realize our dire need for Him. Even when our faith is being stretched more than we think we can bear, He is there! He's showing us our great need for His direction in our lives. He tests us so that in the end we can come out with an even stronger faith. It's like a soldier going through boot camp. During boot camp the soldier is exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally, but when he is finished with all of his training he is prepared for battle. God does the same with us. He puts us through tough times so that in the end we are prepared for battles with the enemy. When we realize our great dependency on God, we can be prepared for our valleys. Spiritual lows help us deepen our faith in The Lord. It's not something we should be ashamed of.

So next time we face a spiritual high make sure it's not centered around our emotions. Allow your spiritual high to be fueled by your faith in Christ. And the next time we encounter a spiritual low, don't be discouraged and stay in The Word even when it's hard.

A Desire to be Loved

As humans we have a desire to be loved, and that desire has been there since our first breath. We were born to be loved, and we feel insufficient when our cravings for love aren't met by other people.

We make choices revolved around the acceptance of others. We make decisions based on what other people would think of us. We go out of our way for people over and over with only an intent to be loved. We do all of this and more to simply be loved and accepted by other people.

Why do we have such a craving to be accepted and loved by other people when we have a Creator who loves us unconditionally? There's numerous examples of His love for us throughout the Bible. 1 John 3:1 states "See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are!" We must really be loved if the King of Kings is willing to call us HIS children! Jeremiah 31:3 says "I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself." God loves us with a constant and boundless love, and nothing we can do can separate us from that love according to Romans 8:38. John 3:16 tells us that God loved us enough to send His only son as a ransom for us. In Hebrews, He promises us that He will NEVER leave us or relinquish His love for us.

All of these verses were written long before we were born, yet the love He lavishes over each of us remains the same. The way we look, the choices we make, or who we are doesn't define the love that God has for us. A little hard to understand isn't it? We base our love for others on so much more, but God loves us because He created us. He has loved us since the beginning, and that same love will continue eternally.

Even in spite of all of this, we still desire to be loved and accepted by other people.  That's natural; We were born with a longing to be loved. But we must keep in mind that we were also born with a Father who already loves us. We were born with a love that doesn't have to be earned. He began to love us individually before we were even formed in our mother's womb. Let that soak in for a little while...

We are loved!!!

Putting An End To Stress

I've been stressed since the second day of Kindergarten.

Okay it may not be that exact; but if you know me, you know I am ALWAYS stressed about something. Whether it's the most trivial detail in life or one of the most problematic things I've gone through, it's most likely causing me to worry and stress. Often times, I suffer from being stressed without any specific reason; I just feel the burden on me. 

Over time I've tried to figure out why I am always suffering from this so called "anxiety," and I've come up with multiple reasons over the past few years. I've convinced myself that I'm too controlling, that my expectations exceed reality, and that just too much is going on in my life. But is that really the case? 

Honestly, I've come to terms with myself and faced the facts... I'm simply not trusting The Lord enough, and that HAS to change. My God created me. He planned out EVERY path in my life, EVERY trial, and EVERY single thing that I've chosen to worry about. If the utmost beautiful and perfect Creator made me and planned out every detail of my life, then why should I worry? Well I've had my wake up call for sure... 

As I laid in bed between classes the other day I was doing my normal routine of going through every detail of that day and worrying about it. "Did I do this right?" "Am I going to have time for this?" "Do they really think I'm capable of doing that?" and so on and so on. And then it hit me, the only thing I'm doing by worrying about every detail of my life is fueling Satan's power over me. I become so distant from The Lord when I allow stress to control my life that I become so incredibly vulnerable to the enemy's lies. I start to believe that no one likes me, that I could never achieve my goals, that I'm incapable of making an impact on others, etc. The fact that I had been allowing those thoughts to consume my life disturbed me. I decided then and there that I would not let Satan have that type of power over me anymore. 

How often have we heard Philippians 4:6-7? "Do not worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all that He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Jesus Christ." I've heard that verse numerous times, but to be completely honest, I never once really applied that verse to my life. Of course I prayed about certain situations, and of course I thanked God for the things He had blessed me with... But I had never once thanked Him for the trials and the tests of faith. I never once really asked Him for what I "needed." And I almost always felt ridiculous bringing my trivial worries into my prayers, but that's EXACTLY what He wants from me. He wants me to tell Him the things in my life that are causing me to worry. He wants me to thank Him for the trials in my life. He wants me to experience His peace in my life. He wants to guard my heart and mind from the enemy's lies. 

What a compassionate Father and Creator we have. 

But let's be real here a moment. This isn't something that's going to change overnight... but I want to challenge you to start putting an effort into giving things up to The Lord. You may not suffer from the same types of worrying issues I have had, but when you find yourself stressed about an upcoming exam, worried that you're not fitting in, or anything at all that's causing worry or stress in your life big or small, just give it to Him! I have seen a noticeable change in my walk with The Lord since I have chosen to start really applying that verse into my life. I am not perfect by any means, far from it... I still catch myself stressing about things from time to time, but then I remember that I have a choice to be vulnerable to the enemy or to experience the beauty and comfort of God's peace. 

I hope that this applies to more people than just me, and if it applies to you.. Just know I am praying for you (whoever you are) and that I am right there with you. It's a daily effort, but it is so worth it when you can finally be at peace with yourself and the situations you are in. And hey, please keep me in your prayers too. I still go through times that I forget these things, so definitely keep me in your prayers as well! 

I feel like I should end this blog post with two things... 

1. An apology for not blogging much lately: I'm so sorry guys! I've been transitioning into the new college life, but I'm going to start sitting down and making time for this more often! 
2. And a cliche saying: "We are too blessed to be stressed!" Hey, I thought it was appropriate. :)